A Mom & Son Adventure

I’m always a little shocked when “normal” feelings come up with Dane. That kinda sounds awful I realize but most of our conversations are about quads, side x sides, tires, school buses, mechanics, km’s on vehicles….you get the idea. It’s on repeat every single day, so when I see he’s struggling with something it always comes out as anger first. Then the real emotion eventually surfaces but I have gotten real good at figuring out which one it is. That said, he is struggling with being so far from home. And it’s so normal and I get it fully. I knew this trip would push him way beyond his comfort zone then add 40 degree heat to the mix, a city, no trees, desert area and he is lost. But I’m so proud of him for conquering it. I told him the story of when I went to Australia and 2 weeks in I was as doing my PADI course and I straight up panicked on day two. I couldn’t finish it. I was a mess, crying the whole thing. It took me a day or two to realize I was so so soooo homesick. I then told him that it was so hard and scary but I stayed and had the most amazing adventure. I also told him that everyone has felt this way at some point and he would be ok. Now you might all think well I’ve had that conversation and my kid is fine, why are you telling us about this, well with autism I cannot stress how much the unknown weighs on Dane. This is a trip for us isn’t permanent but he is so worried that it is, I keep saying over and over when we will be home, and I will have to say everyday until we are, that right now is all he needs to enjoy himself a little. I also told him Oregon is more like home, trees, normal temps, rivers, waterfalls, mountains. Danes entire world is the river at home. As much as I could live somewhere else I know he can’t. This trip is pushing him, I’m pushing him, but it’s not permanent. Home is home and that’s is where we will always be. 

Change is hard especially for him, I will do my best to be his calm, so he can see a little bit more of this great big world and ENJOY it.